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What to do when you’re asked to do too much

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Q. I’ve been told I’m supposed to train all the summer interns starting the first week of June. There are 30 of them. This is in addition to all of my work. I asked my boss how I am supposed to handle everything and if I can get help and he just said, “Deal with it.” I feel like I’m already sinking though. Help?A. Let’s start with the good news: You were proactive and articulate with your boss in expressing your concerns. And you’re going to train all of the interns — more than two dozen of them — no easy feat! That will look great on your resume. See where I’m going with this here?Since you don’t have the support you need, you may want to immediately start looking for a new job.I’m assuming you won’t get paid a bonus or anything additional for taking on this new responsibility in addition to your current workload.Another option is to go over your boss’s head to get support in the short term, but tha...

Luis Alberto Urrea honors his mother’s WWII service in ‘Good Night, Irene’

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Luis Alberto Urrea is no stranger to historical fiction. The author earned rave reviews for his 2005 novel “The Hummingbird’s Daughter,” which told the story of his great-aunt, Teresita Urrea, the legendary 19th-century curandera, or healer, and folk hero known as the “Saint of Cabora.” A sequel to the novel, called “Queen of America,” was published six years later; it followed Teresita fleeing Mexico for the U.S., where she meets a variety of Americans and immigrants near the turn of the 20th century.Urrea turned to his family history again for his latest novel, “Good Night, Irene,” just published by Little, Brown. The book is inspired by his mother, Phyllis McLaughlin, who served in the Red Cross Clubmobile Service in World War II. The “Donut Dollies” followed American troops around Europe, driving trucks that offered the soldiers comfort in the form of hot coffee and freshly made treats.“Good Night, Irene” follows Irene Woodward, a New Yorker who leaves her abusive fiancé and vol...

Editorial: Loosening social media’s grip on America’s teens

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

This week U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released an advisory on the pros and cons of social media and its impact on the mental health of America’s adolescents — along with concrete steps that policymakers and parents can take to minimize the harms of too much screen time.Murthy’s “Social Media and Youth Mental Health” report should be mandatory reading for legislators, researchers, parents and yes, teenagers themselves. It stresses the pervasiveness of social media within the adolescent world, noting that up to 95% of teens ages 13 to 17 report using a social media platform. An even more disturbing statistic: nearly 40% of children between 8 and 12 use social media.Murthy doesn’t portray social media as some terrible toxin that must be subdued. In fact, he stresses its benefits as a conduit for connection with peers and friends who share interests and identities. It also can provide an avenue for self-expression, and at times even illuminate. Teens report that social media keeps...

Be flexible with long-distance co-parenting

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Q. My ex and I broke up three years ago. We have two boys, ages 15 and 12. Their mother went to live with family in Idaho, the children stayed with me in Montana. They visit their mother during breaks and in the summer. Our oldest is telling me that this year he does not want to spend the entire summer in Idaho. He is interested in sports, he has a girlfriend, and he simply does not want to spend that much time away. His brother hears him complain and also wants the time reduced. His mother thinks it’s my fault. I say nothing against her. What’s good ex-etiquette?A.  When kids hit middle school, friends and extracurriculars become the biggest influence, and as much as parents want to remain the center of their world, it just doesn’t happen.I’m sure your boys want to see their mother, but they want to be with their friends, too, and since their friends are in Montana, they are trying to juggle their allegiance to their mother and their life with you. And now there’s a girlfriend? Oh ...

Lawyer doesn’t want her to fight for more alimony

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Q. Can you help me understand why my lawyer is recommending I settle for something less than the law requires?  He is very adamant that I accept my husband’s offer to pay me only 20% of his bonus as alimony on top of the child support I receive. I stay home with our four children and my husband has a big job that requires a ton of travel so I can’t work even if I wanted to right now as he is never able to help.  My former teacher’s salary is less than I would have to pay for childcare if I were to return to work.My lawyer says my husband’s salary all goes toward calculating child support and that only his bonus is available for alimony.  I can live with that, but my husband sometimes gets huge bonuses – the last two years were a million dollars.  The alimony law says I’m entitled to 30-35% so I cannot understand why he is telling me to settle for only 20%.  Am I missing something or do I need a different lawyer?A. When the law changed several years ago and alimony was no longer taxa...

Schoen: Donald Trump’s 2024 primary strategy, explained

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Against all odds, former President Donald Trump appears well-positioned to clinch the 2024 Republican presidential nomination. He holds a commanding lead over a growing primary field with seven months until the ‘first in the nation’ Iowa caucus, despite facing a slew of legal scandals that would debilitate any other politician.While Trump’s approach to politics often appears more incoherent than intelligible, there in fact is a calculated strategy steering his primary campaign. It involves turning his intensifying legal troubles into martyrdom at the hands of the left-wing political establishment, while at the same time relentlessly attacking his top opponent, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Though this strategy is largely devoid of actual policy, it has been effective thus far: Trump has consolidated the support of the majority of Republican primary voters nationally, doubling his lead over DeSantis, per RealClearPolitics’ average of primary polls. Bearing in mind that national data...

Caring J’Quan loves to be active

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

J’Quan is an active young child. J’Quan would describe himself as humorous, kind, and fun to be around. He is a very affectionate child and enjoys showing his love to those he cares about. J’Quan’s favorite activities are playing with his LEGOs, riding his bike, and playing outside.J’Quan would thrive in an attentive, supportive family with one or two parents. A family for J’Quan will need to support the relationship that J’Quan has with his sister. A family should also be able to maintain contact with members of J’Quan’s birth family.J’Quan would also benefit from a visiting resource.Can I Adopt?If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not; renters or homeowners; LGBTQ+ singles and couples. As an adoptive parent, you won’t have to pay any fees, adoption from foster care is completely free in Massachusetts.To...

Rick Steves takes audience on musical journey with Boston Pops shows

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Rick Steves’ first trip to Europe wasn’t about history or food or culture. It was about music.“My father, who was a piano tuner, decided to import pianos from Europe,” Steves told the Boston Herald. “So my very first trip, when I was 14 years old, was to see the piano factories in Germany.”If you watch his public television travel series, “Rick Steves’ Europe,” you notice that between the castles and cuisine, there’s a lot of music: flamenco from Spain, fado from Portugal, Italian operas. Not a big slice of the program, music will take center stage when the Boston Pops presents “Rick Steves’ Europe: A Symphonic Journey” on June 8 and 9.Steves has deep affection for all kinds of music (he’s only had two jobs in his life, tour guide and piano teacher). His collaboration with Pops will focus on European classical music from the Romantic era, the age of Verdi, Wagner and Beethoven.“I love Romanticism and I love national struggles,” he said. “It’s cool that music, Romantic music, was a c...

Cat’s weight loss a sign of thyroid trouble

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Dear Dr. John,I had two 17-year-old sister cats until one died two months ago. The remaining sister has been losing weight for a few months. I finally had my vet look at her. They took bloodwork, and the diagnosis came back as her being hyperthyroid. I was told that it was consistent with her weight loss. I was given a few options on how to treat her and I opted for using a transdermal paste because one option was too expensive and the other meant giving her pills or oral liquids and she is difficult to handle or medicate. Should this option work and what is your experience in using such a form of treatment?  B.L.Dear B.L.,I am sorry for your loss of one of the cats but luckily you have a diagnosis on your remaining cat that will allow you to have her for a few years to come. Cats with hyperthyroidism typically present with weight loss with a simultaneous ravenous appetite and are often found to have rapid heart rates. The excess thyroid hormone production puts their metabolism in h...

Dear Abby: Struggling with frustrations of invisible illness

Published Tue, 11 Feb 2025 11:17:05 GMT

Dear Abby: I am struggling with an invisible illness and losing patience with friends, family and acquaintances. I’m working with doctors to manage my conditions, and I’m tired of all the suggestions and seemingly positive comments I’m hearing, like, “You can do it; just put your mind to it!”I am seeing a therapist to help with the emotional stress, and even they are trying to armchair diagnose me and question my knowledge of specific vitamins, probiotics and treatments. Some of these folks mean well, but others I suspect are strongly hinting that I’m making it all up.I’m not even sure what my question is. A polite way to shut people down would be helpful. Please make your readers aware that not every illness is visible. — Struggling in the EastDear Struggling: If you no longer trust your therapist, it’s time to change therapists. A lingering illness can be frustrating and exhausting, and you clearly need someone to vent to about...